So, It's College
by twofortwilight
Summary: story has been re-written After Edward left Bella in NM, she begins to pick up the pieces of her life by getting out of Forks and going to College. Maybe this new chapter will help her get the closure she so desperately needed. Or WILL IT?
1. Being With Jacob

After Edward left Bella (in the beginning of New Moon). Bella never tried to jump off the cliff and Edward hasn't come back. After months of mourning his departure, Bella finally establishes a relationship with Jacob. But decides though she loves him, she realizes that if she can't have Edward, she'd rather be alone. To get away, she decides to give college a try. All the while hoping to run into Edward.

**(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 1(revised)

Being with Jacob

Bella's POV

When Edward first left me, I wasn't even able to move. My life was a shambles and there was nothing I could do about it. I had lost the only thing that mattered. It took months to recover from that pain; although I'm not quite sure 'recover' is the right term, maybe 'survived' is a better way to say it. I began spending more time with Jacob. He was my best friend and the one who helped me see world again. Our friendship was dear to me, but Jacob wanted more. I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do, but his constant presence was a security blanket for me. I couldn't help but allow him to take me in.

We finally turned a corner and began to "date" and it was nice for a while. Soon the pressure of our relationship started to get to me. I began to feel anxious about the direction we were taking. A more physical relationship with Jacob seemed natural but I felt a pull from another direction that could not ignore.

I eventually knew getting more involved with Jake would be a mistake. He just couldn't get it through his thick head that even though I was with him, I wasn't _with_ him. There was no doubt of my physical attraction to him nor how much I cared for him. He was there when I was empty; lost; A shell of a girl. I owed it to him to try a little harder.

It has been 3 months and for the most part it's been nice being with Jacob. He's strong and funny, and has a heart of gold. He makes me laugh like no one else can. But I can't help but feel there is still that something missing. That thing, a connection of sorts, I can't describe it. Edward and I have it. Well, I should say we _had_ it. We were connected through our souls somehow. _God, it still hurts to say his name. It is like a deep wound that just won't heal._

It is becoming clear that Jacob was really meant to be more like a brother to me than a boyfriend. His feelings for me are definitely stronger than mine are for him. After last night, I think maybe we should spend some time apart. Things are moving too quickly for me. Maybe if we take a break he will imprint on someone else? _Should I be hoping for something like that?_ I can't help but keep replaying what happened the other day at his house.

_Normally Billy or even Charlie wouldn't approve of us alone in Jacob's room, but Billy thought it was no big deal since the door was open and we were just watching TV. Things changed when Billy decided to go out. _

_That's when things went in a direction I guess I wasn't ready for. We were on his bed. The TV had some garage show on. His arm was around me and both of us were lying down. Of course, Jake had grown much this spring that his legs practically hung off the edge at the knee. _

"_So… we're all alone in the house with nothing to do…any ideas?" He gave me a devilish grin._

"_Jake we're watching your favorite…Monster Garage, don't you want to watch?" _

"_Yeah, but I can watch the re-run later. I'd rather take advantage of the moment." With that, he leaned in began to kiss me._

_I always enjoyed kissing Jake. He was very good at it for someone younger, but then again I had never really kissed anyone before Edward, so I had little to judge by. I then began to sense his urgency as he moved closer to me. He leaned in and pressed his body against mine. I felt my body betray me as I allowed the proximity. The pressure in his kisses started to deepen and to tell the truth, I wanted him to go further. He was a passionate kisser and his very warm hands had a way of moving over my small frame almost like taking it all at once. It was very enticing. He began to kiss my shoulder and my neck, while his hands began to move up my shirt. In a moment of clarity, I stopped him, but then I let him continue. _

_He stopped suddenly and looked into my eyes and said, "Bella, you must know I love you. I know we were meant to be together." Slowly he kissed my neck again, and mumbled, "I want you Bella. I want every part of you". _

_I never really thought through the consequences that came with sharing this moment with him. I always thought it would be Edward who I would share it with. I was already lost in my own thoughts as I considered what to do. Then he did it; the move that changed everything. _


	2. Goodbye Forks

(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)

Chapter 2

Goodbye Forks

In just seconds everything changed. His hand moved from under my shirt to my face. He then lightly touched my cheek and brushed along my jaw pressing his fingers softly to my lips. That was _Edward's move. He couldn't have known; it had to be a coincidence._

I froze. The look of panic on my face must have been obvious.

"What? What's wrong? I know maybe I'm moving too fast, but I know you love me too Bella, why does this have to be a _bad_ thing?"

At this point my mind was elsewhere. Remembering a time when I was so ethereally happy. A time when all _he _had to do was touch me anywhere and the fire would burn me in places I never knew existed. It wasn't like that with Jake. Yes, I loved him; yes I was attracted to him, but it was never like that. Edward completed every part of me and when Jake touched me that way, it reignited that for me. That was what was missing in our relationship. Something that would never be that way for Jake and I. Something that only Edward had over me. _He_ was my true soul mate. It was Edward and I that were meant to be. At that moment, I broke down and began to sob.

Jake straightened up and took me into his arms. Panic was in his voice. "Bells, Bells, what's wrong? What did I do? Tell me if I hurt you. I'm sorry!!!"

I tried to compose myself and through sniffles muffled by his chest, I was finally able to speak, "Jake, I'm so sorry. It's nothing you did or said. It's not you."

"Then what, what is it?" His face changed from concern to suspicion.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I just can't." I moved away from him and hung my head, "You are an amazing person. You have saved me from what, I would call _the depths of hell_ and you don't deserve this. You don't deserve what I'm doing to you."

His frustration came through when he spoke, "Bella you always do this, the minute I try to get close to you, you find some way to back off."

"I know Jake. That's what I'm saying. I thought that if I let myself, I could be truly happy with you. But now I see that I can't be happy with anyone. It's not meant for me. I do love you Jake. That won't change. But my heart was given to Edward first and I thought that when you came into my life, I'd heal and I could move on with you. But I never realized the immensity of what he took with him. This, this next step you're ready to take with me. It's not right for me to take it with you. It's not fair to give you something that wasn't mine to give you. Don't you see? That part was and is only for Him."

He then pushed me away. A little harder than I think he meant to because I lost my balance and fell onto the floor, landing with a thud on my behind. He didn't try to help me. I guess I deserved that.. He stood up and gave me a look of shock and hurt I couldn't bear to ever see again.

"You know Bella I've given my heart to you over and over. I've put aside the insecurities about your feelings for that bloodsucker. But you're right, it's not fair. You're never going to get over him and I don't think I can take any more false hope."

He was right. I was a horrible person for ever even starting something with Jake, when I knew deep down he would never fill that void for me. Jake could never have that part of me that was meant for Edward and I guess I needed something to smack me back to reality.

Jake finally reached down to help me up. I couldn't even look at him. He placed his finger under my chin and tilted it up to meet his eyes. I welled up with tears again and in barely a whisper I said,. "Jake I'm so sorry."

He hugged me. I always loved the feel of Jake's arms around me. He was so strong and warm. His arms were a safe haven for me. I felt protected. Even now when I knew I was breaking his heart. He was protecting me.

"Bella, I will always love you. But you can't keep torturing yourself like this, or me. Edward is gone and it doesn't look like he's ever coming back. Don't you think it's time that you let him go and find yourself again?" There was a long pause as he seated himself back onto the edge of the bed, "Bella, maybe you should consider going to college again? Getting out of this town could be good for you. Of course, I'd miss you but maybe it'll help you sort some things out for yourself."

Then it clicked; Jake was right. I needed to get out of Forks for a while. I was too close to all the reminders of Edward and the last few months. Charlie was bugging me for weeks to finish my school applications. _Even Edward had tried to convince me to go_. He was really the one hell bent on me having "normal" human experiences. I was sure this would be good for me.

"Maybe you're right Jake. I don't deserve your understanding, but I am grateful for it. You know, I really do love you Jake."

"I know you do Bells, and I love you.

I was so happy that Jake and I could part on good terms. I valued his friendship so much and after this, I knew we'd be friends always. I decided on going Alaska. Something deep down told me it could be a good place to start. I didn't need much convincing for Charlie to agree this was a good idea so I sent my application right away. Good thing I was accepted._ I didn't apply anywhere else. _


	3. Am I Ready?

(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)

Chapter 3

Am I Ready?

Bella's POV

College, what was I thinking? My life in Forks after he-_it is still hard to even say his name_-left me, was just about surviving, taking one day at a time. So why would college be any different? Well, at least I would have some much needed time away from Jacob, and Charlie; and my friends would think I was getting better. I will take some classes and even get a part time job; maybe at a local store or at the library even? I was able to convince Charlie about my excitement to start a _new _life, and to think that _he_ once told me I was a bad actress.

Angela was the only friend that would listen to me, without judgment, without gossiping about it, without pity in her eyes. She just hung out with me even if I didn't feel like talking. So when I told her about my plan to leave Forks, she was happy for me. In fact, the next day she surprised me with the news-she and Ben would be going too.

They had already been considering the University of Alaska at Anchorage, but it wasn't their first choice. Then Ben got last minute news of a full scholarship in art/graphic design and she didn't want to go to school without him.

No one actually knew the true reason behind my leaving. All I told them was that I needed to get out of Forks and that I was struggling to start over. However, filed away deep down, I felt that twinge of hope that maybe somehow I'd see Edward again. I mean it a wasn't crazy idea. He spent time with the Denali Clan frequently in the past, and I heard that Jasper and Alice went up there soon after they left Forks. _I really miss Alice_. Even if I never saw Edward again, I longed to see her, and her smile, and the happiness in her step. She was my best friend and because of him, she was gone forever too.

_Get a grip Bella_ even if you do run into him what do you plan on saying? "Hi Edward what's up? How's life been treating you?" Uh no, you will faint or run in the other direction, so let's get the idea of running into Edward out of your head before you even get started. But wait. Would I tell him how much I missed him? Would I ask him to take me back? Maybe he'd ask me to take HIM back? Hold on, why would he even do that? He left me because he, "didn't want me anymore". Maybe he was already distracted _with someone else._ I was continuing with my internal ramblings and Charlie pulled me out of it by calling me downstairs for dinner. Well, I should say-for me to cook dinner.

The next few days I spent responding to Renee's worried emails and arranging my housing on campus so Angela and I could be roommates. I still had to send my deposit and send in my Student Aid forms. I even tried to apply for small scholarship. Charlie was happy to see me busy but was concerned as to why I stopped hanging out with Jacob so 'out of the blue'.

"Charlie, it's just too much too soon. Jake knows how I feel about him. And with me going to school in a few weeks, it's better we don't get too attached before I go. I promised him we'd keep in touch." After that Charlie didn't bother me about it again. I guess he felt as long as I was thinking of my future, my past wouldn' t be an issue any longer.

xxxxx

I have to admit, as nervous as I was, I was also relieved. School was a good distraction in many ways. Angela was a good roommate and she also liked that I didn't mind having Ben around since I worked most evenings anyway. I was finally thinking about something else, and breathing a little bit easier. I kept myself occupied but not overwhelmed, at least I thought so. I took a part time job at the school library during weeknights, and on weekends I worked for a few hours at the local bookstore. When it wasn't busy, I would immerse myself books. When most students wanted to be out and about I didn't feel the need to socialize.

Initially, I spent a lot of time searching for any site of him; Hoping for just a glimpse of his bronze hair or angelic walk. Every time I saw someone with hair even remotely like his, my heart would almost stop beating, only to realize that it wasn't him. Finally, by the end of the fall semester I stopped looking and began to enjoy campus life.

Before I knew it, it was Christmas break and I couldn't make up an excuse not to go and spend the holidays with Charlie. However, because I was working at the school library, I told Charlie that they expected me back before the spring semester started so I could organize and get everything settled before students came back.

I even had my classes already picked out including one that Angela roped me me into taking--Biology. _We all know how much I liked my last one_. It was then, during that first day of class, that my world crashed down around me with a 'thud'.


	4. Biology 101

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 4

Biology 101

Bella's POV

Our first day back to classes after a long break dragged; even in College, it's amazing. This spring semester I have 5 classes. Mostly requirements, but I did get one elective in-English Literature. The rest were tolerable, Psych 101, Statistics, European History, and of course, Biology 101 with Angela.

I had History and Psych in the morning, then Bio in the afternoon. I thought the day started off ok. Angela was full of stories about her holiday break with Ben and her family. I told her of my short visit to Forks with Charlie, and the nice day I spent with Jacob at La Push.

_La Push was nice that day, still cold out but no wind, and the sun was out. A day like that a year ago, I'd have spent inside. There were still reminders of that time that would creep up on me but I'd push them aside as quickly as they came on. Jake and I actually felt like our old selves. When he saw me he gave me a huge hug, something that I didn't realize I'd missed so much until I was there, feeling it. We held hands and walked along the beach and he filled me in on how his newest car project was coming along. How he and Quil were mad at Embry for leaving them to hang out with Sam Uley a lot more. I filled him in all the exciting happenings on campus that I wasn't a part of, and it seemed like we were ok. He did try to kiss me when he dropped me off, and I let him because it was nice to be near him again without any complications. He promised to keep me in on the gossip and I promised to email him more often._

Then. It happened.

The day I thought would happen differently in my dreams, or nightmares depending on how you look at it.

Angela and I met in front of Anderson Hall to go into Biology. We wanted to be sure to sit next to each other since it was bound to be a large and full class. We got inside and settled into seats on the left side of a large room. The rows of tables could fit 4 people at each one. As we expected, the room filled quickly and soon it was loud in there as everyone was waiting for Dr. Martin to start class.

Then I saw him. My heart stopped beating and my mouth dropped open. I heard Angela gasp and felt her eyes on me. I couldn't move. I was a stone and would have shattered into thousands of pieces if you touched me the wrong way. There in the front of the room, from the open door, walked out our Professor. He was beautiful as he moved smoothly across the room and took a spot in front of the desk.

"Hello class. My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Dr. Martin was scheduled to teach this class but unfortunately his sabbatical coursework in Guatemala was re-scheduled and he needed to leave yesterday to be there by Friday. I'm really looking forward to this semester with you. Please feel free to visit during my office hours, which I have posted on the board behind me. Now if we can get started, I'll start attendance."

"Oh my god Bella! Did you know he was here teaching? Bella?!" I couldn't speak then Angela shook me and I snapped out of my daze.

"Huh, what?"

"Did you know, did you know he was here teaching?!"

I looked at her unable to focus, "No of course not! Do you think I would have agreed to take this stupid class with you if I did?!!! Or even come to this stupid school?!"

Angela lowered her voice to a whisper, "ok, so what are you going to do?"

I couldn't think. But I did know that Carlisle already saw the roster and he was not stupid enough to think that I was not the very same Isabella Swan that could have joined his family a year ago. I also knew that I would be stuck in this class, because as he called my name, he met my gaze as if to know what I was thinking, "Isabella Swan?"

I nodded and raised my hand then said, "please call me Bella". He nodded and smiled very soothingly but was there understanding in that? I didn't know for sure. I spent the rest of class in and out of a trance. I didn't hear a word he said after he called my name. Was I dreaming or was I just waking up from a nightmare?


	5. First Day of Class

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 5

First Day of Class

Carlisle's POV

Esme kissed me as I left for my first class. I could still sense her watching me as I walked out the door to the car. This move to Anchorage has been hard on her. After months in Seattle and then a month in Denali, she was ready to get back to some normalcy. She was looking forward to renovating the small 50 year old house we purchased 20 miles outside of town. It had so much charm, like an old log cabin. I saw her blue prints for the renovation, she has such talent. I'm sure it will be a beautiful sight when she's finished.

This job at the college was a welcome change. I had already established my rounds at Anchorage Memorial Hospital, but I needed something to keep me busy on my days off. Esme was able to reach Rosalie and Emmett in South America and they agreed to move back with us so they enrolled in the Spring semester. Alice and Jasper will be here later in the week. They are still up visiting the Denali clan.

I am so glad Alice suggested the change, I think it will do us good to start fresh and have the family together once more; All Except for one member. Edward. I miss my son, my friend, my colleague. Not to mention that it breaks Esme's heart every time he doesn't answer her calls. She knows he is suffering but for how long, how long will he continue to torture himself? Our last conversation didn't go so well either, but I think I may be getting through. I at least got him to agree on a visit to see the new house and stay a few weeks to celebrate Jasper and Alice's anniversary with us.

I entered the dean's office a half hour early and was greeted by a nice elderly woman. She smiled,

"Hello I'm Mrs. Finney, I'm Dean Stratford's assistant, how may I help you?"

"Hello, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I'm here to substitute for Dr. Martin during his sabbatical."

"Oh Hello, Dr. Cullen, Dean Stratford had to step out, he sent his regrets but asked you to have tea with him around 3pm if you were available? I also I have your schedule and student rosters right here. All his classes will be distributed between you and Dr. Brown. The Dean asked me to give them to you along with the map of the school." She hesitated between two different stacks and grabbed the top left files.

"Thank you very much Mrs. Finney. I would be glad to join the Dean for tea, please tell him I look forward to it." I took the papers, smiled and politely left the room.

As I walked toward Anderson Hall, the location of my first class, my phone rang. It was Esme; probably to check how my day was going. During our conversation I took a moment to glance at my first class, Biology 101. As I was reading through the course structure and roster, I stopped suddenly. If my heart could stop beating, I think it would have. I couldn't speak and Esme noticed right away.

"Carlisle, sweetheart, are you ok? Are you there?"

There it was. I could never have imagined seeing it here of all places. _Isabella Swan_. I couldn't believe it; Bella, here in Anchorage? I got myself under control and filled Esme in on the details.

"What should I do, should I change classes? I can't the Dean has already set up the schedule. They had a hard enough time when they found me to fill the slots on such short notice."

"Carlisle, wait slow down…Bella is in one of your classes at the University? I thought she was in Forks? The last we heard she was there and still working at the Newton store. How did this get past Alice? Maybe it didn't, maybe it just changed before she could tell us." She paused for a moment. "Or maybe she set this up Carlisle, you know Alice loves her? She wouldn't do that would she?" I don't think she wanted my response. She continued, "In any case, I think the only thing to do is go to class. She will let you know how she feels about the situation. You can be sure that she's going to be shocked so try to be as relaxed as you can. She will need it love."

"You're right. I have to go to class I cannot help but feel a little guilty Esme. She's such a lovely girl and Edward is devastated without her, but it feels like I'm betraying him by knowing where she is and what she's doing."

"Carlisle dear, you don't, not yet at least. You have to give her the opportunity to approach you. Then you'll know how to proceed."

"You're right my love but please try to reach Alice, we need as much information as we can get before Edward gets into town next week."

"I will. I love you. Good Luck."

"Thanks, I love you too."

As I was hanging up, a call rang on the other line; it was Alice. At this point I couldn't talk to her. I was ready to enter the classroom.


	6. A Sick Joke

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)  
**

Chapter 6

A Sick Joke?

Bella's POV

Why, why, why, was the universe trying to play some sick joke on me? Why now, when I thought I'd stopped drowning and I was finally keeping my head above water and actually surviving?

I have no recollection of the class, of the time that went by. Suddenly Angela poked me and I came out my trance, only to realize that all the students were gone and it was just me, Angela, and Carlisle in the classroom. I could have sworn this classroom was bigger, why are all the walls closing in on me? Why does it feel like I am in a room with no air? And why can't I hear Angela's voice when I see she is talking to me? "I can't breathe" was all I managed to say.

I must have passed out. I looked around. I don't know how I got there but I was outside by the pond. I began gasping for breath. "Bella, Bella dear, are you ok? Please look at me, breathe. It's me Carlisle." He asked me cautiously, "Do you feel ok enough to talk?"

I choked out, "Carlisle, what...what are you doing here?" I struggled to sit up. "How did this happen? I am so confused."

"Bella, I'm just as puzzled as you must be. Esme and I just moved here. I am merely covering a few classes until Dr. Martin returns from his sabbatical. I have taken a new position at Anchorage Memorial, and Esme wanted to move somewhere close to the Denali clan. They are pretty much the only family we have left, aft.."

I interrupted. What did he mean the only family left, where was the rest of the family? I began to feel panicked. "Wait, Carlisle, is everyone ok?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. Everyone is ok Bella. It's just that after Edward" _I cringed at the sound of his name, but the next time I promise I would act normal_. "And… you, well, after we left Forks, a lot of things changed. Everyone went their own way. Esme has been heartbroken. It is like she lost her child all over again, this time, she lost 6."

He must have seen the look on my face, I didn't understand. He clarified by saying, "Emmet, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Edward" I cringed again; so much for keeping my composure, "and you Bella." He placed his hand on my shoulder and smiled. I began to relax. "Now it's just the two of us. We managed to convince Emmet and Rose to come back and register for classes here, and Alice and Jasper are coming back next week." He didn't say anything about Edward, but by this time, I think he realized that just sound of his name was painful for me. I couldn't stop myself, I asked, "And… _him_? Will he be back as well?" But I jerked and raised my hand. I wanted to take it back as soon as it came from my lips. I didn't give him time to answer. "No, please, Carlisle. I don't want to know, forget I asked."

"Bella, you must know that we _all_ love you. You must come and see Esme. She will be so happy to see you again."

"I don't think that is a very good idea Carlisle. I don't think I am ready to see _anyone_ right now."

"Of course Bella, I understand, but it's only Esme and me at the house right now. The others are not coming for a couple more days, won't you think about it?"

All I could do is nod. I knew that I had to think this through before I did anything. I couldn't afford to have what was left of my heart broken. I had to make sure I would be ready for whatever could happen.


	7. Feeling at Home

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 7

Feeling at Home

Bella's POV

I can't believe this is happening. I know deep down I had hoped to see Edward again, but seeing Carlisle has made it too real for me. Am I even ready to see_ him_ again if I can't even seem to stay conscious around his family? I really do want to see Esme again; I miss all of them, especially Alice. If Edward isn't going to be around, I think I can handle it for sure.

Carlisle called me in the morning and we made arrangements to meet after Biology. Apparently Esme was fussing over a big lunch for me. I don't know if I could eat with all the nervous feelings I was having.

As we came nearer to the house I was in awe of the sight before me. Carlisle had mentioned their house was already in the works of a renovation, but I didn't realize he meant taken down to the studs and completely rebuilt. It was two floors-now it's going to be three. It was already beginning to look like a beautiful and grand Log Cabin.

As we approached the door, Esme greeted me with a warm hug. "Bella, sweetheart. I have missed you so much. It is so nice to see you…please come in."

"Hello Esme. I have missed you too. All of you. Er-is anyone else here?"

Esme put her arm around me and walked me into the dining room. "No, Rose & Emmett are on campus actually, getting classes settled."

I made my way to the chair on the far end of the table, the one where I usually sat…next to Edward. "Oh, I didn't realize they were in town already. Is anyone else here?" I knew I should stop asking questions but they kept flowing out of my mouth before I could stop them. Then Carlisle politely interjected.

"Actually Bella that is one of the reasons you're here. We wanted to explain the living situation here in Anchorage." They then proceeded to fill in the details of how they chose this area and who was going to be living here from now on. I wasn't sure how I felt but Edward's name didn't get mentioned and I just didn't have it in me to ask. After the initial shock of being back in their presence, we had a really nice day catching up. I failed to mention my breakdown and my short-lived relationship with Jacob, and stuck to the boring stuff.

Carlisle and Esme were in Seattle for a while, Alice and Jasper spent some time in Denali, Rosalie and Emmett had been in South America. My mind wandered and I began to ponder on how long they were in Denali, if Edward was ever with them. I ached to hear news of his whereabouts, but I couldn't open that can of worms yet.

We were all settled in the living room when I heard a loud bang as the door slammed shut. "I smell Huuummmaann!" I turned around quickly only to realize that Emmett had just snatched me into his arms giving me a big bear hug; as much as he could without crushing me to death. "Hey little sis!…I mean Bella. What's up? So I hear you're going to school with us…wait until you hear what Rose and I have been up to." When he put me down, he practically dropped me back onto the couch I was seated in, and I then noticed Rosalie behind him.

"Hi Bella. Nice to see you. You are…looking well." It's unbelievable how beautiful she was.

"Hello Rosalie. As are you." I couldn't believe she wasn't giving me her regular scornful look. Maybe her feelings for me were softening a bit. Then Esme spoke.

"Rose have you spoken to Alice, are she and Jasper on their way?"

"Yes, they should be here tomorrow. They decided to stop and hunt before they got here. Bella, Alice asked me to tell you that she is really looking forward to seeing you so you had better not stray too far."

Hearing Alice's name, my heart jumped a bit. I wanted to see her too. "Thanks. I only have classes until 2pm tomorrow and then I work at the Library. She can come by anytime after that, but I bet she already knows that."

As I stood up and they mirrored my action. "Carlisle, Esme, it's been a really nice day, but I have to get back to some homework. Would you mind taking me back to campus?" I turned and faced Rosalie and Emmett, "I really enjoyed seeing you all…I guess I'll see you around campus."

It took all my strength not to run to the dorm, when Carlisle dropped me off. I felt a pain in my chest as I went running to my room. Angela wasn't there and I was so relieved…I needed to be alone for this. I then proceeded to sob uncontrollably, releasing all the pain and anguish that had been buried, or so I thought.


	8. A Reason to Party

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 8

A Reason to Party

Emmett's POV

"Well, that went better than I expected." I looked around the room and everyone seemed to be thinking the same thing then Rose agreed and replied, "She looks ok, but you could sense that she was tense, and we don't even need Jasper here to tell us that."

I started to think about Edward, and what he was doing. I hadn't heard from him in a month; although Carlisle said had spoken with him finally and convinced him to come visit for a few weeks. _He's sure to think this is a trick_. We have to find a way to keep this from him until we can figure out how to keep him here with or without Bella.

"How do we keep this from Edward while he's here?"

Carlisle's fatherly nature came through as he spoke. "We don't keep this from him Emmett. He needs to have all the information. However, we don't' have to tell him until after the party, then he can decide for himself." We all agreed, but both Rose and I knew that since Alice knew, she would have a hard time keeping it from Edward; but she would have to try as long as she could, for his sake.

Bella's POV

The visit at the Cullen's was really difficult, more than I'd imagined. But today I feel like it was necessary. I'm actually feeling a bit more free-almost like giddy. Well, I must be feeling something at least. I actually agreed to go to a party with Angela and Ben tonight. _Ugh, I hate parties._

XXXX

I met Ang and Ben outside the Tau Kappa Epsilon house. That is where all the fun started but unfortunately, my memory gets fuzzy shortly after we got there.

As soon as I walked in, someone was shoving a big red cup into my hands. A large guy with stains all over his shirt yelled out, "Drink it all now!" Not knowing how to get out of it, I did. The liquid, which must have been beer, burned my throat as it went down even though it was bubbly and cold. Then suddenly I felt warm and sort of dizzy; I kind of liked it. I felt like I was relaxed, even _happy_ to use a better term. I was handed second cup by another guy, then another cup after that. I think Angela pulled them out of my hand after a while, but at that point I was sure I could float around the room.

Then I saw him. In the corner, drinking from a tube and hanging upside down. Emmett,and not too far away in the corner was Rosalie. All of the guys were gawking at her as she smiled and sipped from her cup. All the girls in the room were in awe of her and yet furious that all the men were paying attention to her instead of them. I felt the immediate need to run. I turned so fast that I tripped over my own feet and slammed straight into a wall; or so I thought.

Turns out, it was actually a guy-a big one. Not as large as Emmett but big enough. "Hey little girl. Why in such a hurry?"

I felt a little strange and started to look around for Angela or Ben, but I couldn't see them anywhere. I started to move away again and he blocked me. "Where you going so fast, stay, hang out for a while."

I looked up at him with a crooked smile, "Um, thanks but I really don't feel right and I have to leave now."

"Aw c'mon, the party is just starting. Let's get to know each other a little better. I have the perfect place." Then he grabbed me and started to pull me out of the room into the hallway, toward the back of the house. I struggled against his grip but he was so strong, he wouldn't let go.

"Please, I can't, I feel sick. I really need to go home."

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure it'll pass and then you and I can spend some quality time getting to know each other." I screamed, but my pleas were drowned out by the music. All the people we passed were so preoccupied with their own partying, kissing or what not, they didn't even notice. I was beginning to get really scared as we walked out the back door and into the yard… toward the shed. I gave up on pulling away because I couldn't fight him. I just kept yelling, but no one heard me as he dragged me through the grass. "Please, no!"


	9. My Hero

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 9

My Hero

Bella's POV

"Please, stop! I have to go home. I'm really not feeling well." He yanked me close to him and started grabbing at me, kissing my neck my face, forcing himself on my lips. I thought I was dreaming; this couldn't be happening! I had no strength to fight back. I was weak, not to mention, nauseated. Then all of the sudden he was gone; disappeared into thin air.

I fell to the ground and didn't move for a moment, then I heard a voice I recognized. "Bella, Bella, are you ok?"

"I hear her heart beating Emmett, I think she's fine, but it's very fast." I struggled to look up and I saw Emmett and Rosalie standing over me.

"Bella, can you hear me? Can you stand?" I lifted my head and saw Emmet standing in front of me. "What, what happened? Emm, Ros, how did you get here?"

"Well, your friend over there appeared to be all over, against your will I may add, so I nicely asked him to step away from you."

"Huh-my friend?" Just then I looked over and the big guy that had been grabbing at me was in the tree hanging over a branch and screaming for help.

I looked up at Emmett and he whispered, "Well we couldn't kill him…too many questions. I just helped him realize that it's not nice to treat a lady like that." I could see the devilish grin on his face.

Rosalie spoke as she got closer to me. "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't hear what was going on until I heard you scream. You must have been so scared. Are you ok?" Knowing Rosalie like I did, it was hard to understand her compassion, but I could tell she was being sincere.

"Thank you. Thank you both so much. I was really scared but right now I feel really si.." With that, I threw up all over making loud retching noises until I was completely spent.

Rosalie complained loudly. "Ewww, gross. Humans make such messes!" Shortly after that, I heard her say, "Em, why don't you help Bella up and maybe take her back to the dorm."

Emmett was already picking me up and beginning to walk toward the front of the house. "Sure honey. I'll see you later at home."

xxxx

Emmett got me to my dorm, in what seemed like seconds, and put me down on the bench just outside. "Bella, what were you thinking? Humans can't handle alcohol. Especially you, you weigh practically nothing. I don't understand why they keep trying; although it is humorous to watch."

I was finally able to stand upright. I looked up at him through glassy eyes. "Emmett, thank you. I'm sorry for the mess I've made. It seems that I can't even go to a party without some sort of trouble finding me. Maybe Edward was right after all-I am a magnet for danger." Shit. I didn't mean to mention his name, but it came out so easily. I was still feeling pretty relaxed; or maybe drunk would be a better way to put it.

"Bella you have a point, but don't blame yourself. Sometimes these things happen, especially to humans. Besides, Edward was right about a lot of things, except for one." My head snapped around and I looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean, except for one?"

"You Bella-he was wrong about you; leaving you that is. I know I shouldn't be telling you this because he'd kill me, but it's so obvious that he's broken hearted without you. We saw him in South America, miserable, but he won't admit it. He thinks if he's left you alone long enough you'll move on." Emmett kept going on about Edward's depression, mood swings, and his deteriorating demeanor, but I stopped listening. I couldn't believe what I was hearing-Edward was _missing _me? How could that be? He left me.

"Stop! Just stop Emmett. He's the one that left. He's the one that said 'he didn't want me anymore'."

"I know Bella, but I know my brother, and I know he only did it because of some warped sense that he was protecting you."

"Emmett I mean it-stop." He continued anyway.

"He's been so unhappy Bella--going from place to place. I haven't seen him in months. It's killing me and honestly it's destroying the entire family. That is why Rose and I left; that is why Alice and Jasper left. Jasper has suffered the most. He internalized all of Edward's feelings, and it was starting to take its toll on his relationship with Alice."

Could I be hearing this right? No, no, it's not possible. He couldn't be as miserable as I was, or maybe still am. He made a choice and he said he was never coming back. Now we both have to live with HIS decision. How can I even be contemplating this?

I yelled straight into his face, "Emmett, he BROKE MY HEART!" Then I bent over the bench and coughed a few times. I started to feel weak. This conversation-this whole night-has made me ill. "I think I am going to be sick. Would you please help me upstairs." He carried me to my door and helped me inside. Once I was settled, he kissed my head and said, "Bella, don't worry it'll be ok. Call me if you need anything. You know I'm here for you."

xxxx

I don't remember anything after that. I must have passed out in my bed because when I awoke in the morning, I was still in my clothes. I reeked of god-knows-what and my mouth felt like cotton balls. A shower and a toothbrush were definitely the first things on my mind.


	10. I Missed My Friend

(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)

Chapter 10

I Missed My Friend

Bella's POV

After a hot shower, I began to feel more like myself. Did I dream what happened last night? Was I really that drunk? Was Emmett really telling me all that? It's not like him to get all mushy or to understand _feelings_ so I was really confused by that conversation_. _I was so anxious, my thoughts were scattered all over the place, but yet they all centered around the same thing, or person, then my phone rang.

"I can't believe you are not ready yet! Don't even think of trying to back out on seeing me today. Hold on. I CAN'T believe you want to wear that for our reunion! Come on Bella put a little more effort into it! Nevermind, I'll pick you up at the dorm in five." She hung up without begin able to get one word in.

Not even 5 minutes had gone by, when Alice marched right in with shopping bags in her hands. As soon as she entered, she dropped them all and hugged me tightly. It was effortless, like we saw each just yesterday. "Hi Bella. Oh, I've missed you so much you have no idea…but let's get you changed so we can be on our way."

I could not help but laugh. She hasn't changed a bit. "I thought we were just going for coffee? Please tell me that you don't have _anything _else planned?"

"Yes Bella just coffee. This will all be on your terms, I promise; but you still need to look decent, what you wear is also a reflection of me." She winked and began twirling around the room in a frenzy. How could I say no?

xxxx

"Ok, so what are your demands?" It felt like we were conducting a business meeting and needed to lay out our demands on the table.

"Alice, I-I don't even know what to say. Speaking as your friend, I can tell you that I am so hurt. I've missed you terribly, and I'm so glad to see you…but I can't believe you left me; you never even called. Wasn't I also _your_ best friend?"

Her eyes reflected as much pain as mine did. "Oh god Bella, so many times I wanted to come back, so many times I wanted to call you. I wanted to 'see'what you were up to, if you were ok. But before I was your friend, I was _his_ sister and even if I didn't agree with his actions, I owed him. He made me promise to leave you alone."

Ok, it was getting to be too much for me. I couldn't talk about him again. I'd had enough _feelings _talk last night with Emmett. "Alice, I actually do have one demand. You know I love you and I want to have you in my life from now on?" She nodded and frowned, she knew what was coming, but I had to say it out loud anyway. "But I don't want to talk about him. I don't want to know about him. Like he said…" I swallowed hard. "When he left me in the forest, he wanted it to be like he never even existed. So when or if you talk to your brother, I would appreciate it if you blocked your thoughts or something. I don't want him to see me or know about me. If you can't accept that, then I can't be around you or your family."

I could sense the conflict and sadness in her. I was actually asking her not to interfere, and with her visions, I didn't know if she could do it; but I could not see any other way. She embraced me and we hugged for a long time. I was starting to shiver when finally she let go. "You know now why I had to do what I did. I did it for my brother, but Bella, now I realize how much our friendship had nothing to do with him. It's time that I only think of me, well, me and Jasper, and what is right for us." I immediately knew what she meant. I guess I really didn't dream all the stuff Emmett told me last night.

"One more thing, I promise to be your friend and be there for you no matter what."

Suddenly, she jumped up and placed both her hands on me, scaring the shit out of me. "Oh! I just realized. You HAVE to come to my anniversary party? Pleeaaase… it will mean so much to Jazz and me."


	11. The Anniversary PartyPart I

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 11

The Anniversary Party-Part I

Bella's POV

A few weeks had gone by and no sight of _him_. I had been spending time with the Cullen's and Alice. They kept their word and didn't mentioned Edward once. Although, I sometimes wished they slipped, so I can have one little detail about him. Emmett is the only one, who without saying a word, would glance at me and shake his head as to insinuate that they haven't heard from him. When he did that, my heart would sink. Maybe it's because deep down, I keep hoping I'll see him, or at least hear news of him.

I wasn't sure if I could or would want to attend their party, but Alice begged me to come on more than one occasion. After a year of 'conflict', she and Jasper decided to renew their vows as a sign of hope for the future. Not only was I afraid that he would actually show up, but also, I didn't know if could handle being around couples that are so obviously in love. Alice assured me that there would be a lot of other people attending. Esme had said she invited almost the whole hospital staff, not to mention a lot of their university friends, along with Angela and Ben; mostly for my sake I'm sure.

"Bella please, you have to come. I haven't been to a nice party with Ben since your graduation party. You already have a stunning dress…please, please."

"Ok, Ok, Ang. I'll come. BUT I am taking my own car, just in case I decide – or need- to leave early."

xxxx

The house looked beautiful and perfectly elegant. Of course, I felt like I didn't I fit in, except for the beautiful dress Alice bought for me. My hair was usually a wreck, so I was glad she cut some bangs into my hair. They still did a good job of hiding my eyes – just in case I got too emotional. I left my hair loose so it wouldn't be too obvious I was wearing a strapless – too tight for my taste- dress, that was also a little too short (a couple of inches above my knee). Thank God she didn't go wild with the heels. I was certain I would never manage the three inch open toe- some designer- pumps she originally picked out for me.

I was already blushing from embarrassment, when Rosalie complimented me on _my_ looks. "Rosalie, you know I had nothing to do with it, but thank you for the compliment anyway."

Right then was when I saw him. He was there. I couldn't believe it. I was stunned; like I was temporarily blinded from a flash of light. But as I gazed to his left, there she was; a beautiful light auburn haired woman. If my memories served me, I think that had to be Tanya. What were she and Edward doing here…together? I turned quickly to leave. "I can't stay. I have to go." Rosalie and Emmett both held me up leaving my legs just hanging. "No. Guys, it's ok. Please let me down, while I still have some dignity. Please give Alice and Jasper my best wishes and apologize for me. I will see you around campus, I'm sure." Rosalie put her hand on my shoulder and spoke in a sympathetic tone, "Bella, I'm sorry. We didn't know he was coming. He never answered our calls. Take it easy, I can see you're flustered by all of this. Just so you know the girl is Tanya. She is family, like a cousin. Nothin' to worry about."

To that Emmett replied with a chuckle, "Yeah, like a cousin that has lusted for him for years."

Rosalie gave him a look of death, "Oh Emmett, honestly, can you just keep your mouth shut for once?!"

I squeaked out of her grip and started to make my way to the front door, where I realized he was standing there frozen; with her, BEAUTIFUL beaming Tanya, proudly holding onto his arm. _Shit he saw me_! _Don't trip. I can't trip. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. Breathe, breathe. _

I regained my focus and noticed that Alice was walking up to him. Next thing I know, she smacked him in the back of his head. _A perfect time to exit_, so I spun around and made my way out through the kitchen toward the back door. Suddenly, I felt someone behind me and a cold hand reached out and touched my shoulder. I froze. As I turned around, and before I could see it was Emmett, I smacked someone as hard as I could. "OW! Emmett, what are you doing!? Are you trying to kill me?"

"Well, that would solve a lot of your problems, don't you think?" Leave it to him to make light of any situation. "Come on little sister, sit with me for a minute and calm down. Don't worry about Edward. Alice is giving him an ear full." I felt a rush of emotions come over me. Suddenly I broke down and started to cry; so much that my body was shaking. Emmett put his arm around me with his usual soothing manner, and I started to calm down.

"Emm, how can this be? I knew that there was a possibility of seeing him tonight, and because of all the stuff that YOU told me after the party, I actually let myself hope that he would come. But never in a million years did I think that he was coming _with_ someone, let alone someone so…beautiful."

"Bella…" he started to interrupt.

"Don't worry Emmett, I am not mad at you, I don't think you lied to me. I really believe you didn't know he was coming. I can't get a handle on all this. You know, I was actually hoping you were right about how he felt about me but in the end, no one knows his feelings better than he does. He did say straight out that he 'didn't want me anymore'."

My head was leaning into Emmett's massive chest as I rambled on. Just then, I heard a voice ringing in my ears like a familiar song. "Bella? Bella, Oh my god. What are you…"

I closed my eyes and wished I could die right then and there when I realized it was him. Edward. He was standing behind Emmett…and he heard every word I had just said.


	12. Coming Home

(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)

Chapter 12

Coming Home

Edward's POV

I couldn't believe I was going to Anchorage. If it wasn't for Esme and Carlisle, I don't think I could bear a whole night of celebrating _love_. I had spent the last year escaping that, or anything that resembled that; immersing myself in things most people don't even know exist. But I thought this diversion would be good for me. I was actually looking forward to seeing my family, especially Emmett, I missed him the most.

Kate flashed the lights from the car behind me, urging me to move faster. Faster? I was already pushing 140 mph. On the road we were on, speeding up wasn't going to be easy since part of it was turning to dirt at any moment. I should have just run there, it probably would have been easier. Then I wouldn't have had to put up with the mindless ramblings of Tanya's dirty thoughts, but she insisted on riding with me. She really just doesn't get that I'm not interested in her. Which I guess, in her defense, I understand. She is to most men, extremely beautiful with her tall lean frame and strawberry blonde hair. Not too much unlike Rosalie, although even Rose is lovelier in her own way.

As we pulled up the drive I noticed all the cars. Tanya commented sarcastically, "I thought it was going to be a small party?" I responded with a surprised look, "You don't really know my sister Alice that well after all do you?' I started to laugh and realized that I was being assaulted by Alice. "We'd better hurry. I hear her thoughts and she'll kill me if we're late."

As I walked through the door a variety of scents attacked me at once. The one disadvantage to having humans at our parties; all the food and perfume smells permeate the room and are sometimes revolting to a vampire. I noticed a scent mingled with the others; something I knew the instant it hit my throat and started to burn. Bella's scent. Bella is here? Was I going mad? Then I searched the room to read Rosalie's thoughts and then I saw her. She _was_ here. My beautiful Bella. I don't understand, how did she get here? My heart felt like it would leap out of my chest if it could beat.

She saw me. Her eyes met mine and the next thing I knew, she was turning away and I was getting slapped in the head. _Ow!_ "What are you doing here Edward!"

"What?! Alice! What are you talking about…you invited me!"

"I meant what are you doing here so fast. I didn't see you coming for at least an hour. I needed time to warn Bella about your arrival. What made you speed up?"

"I'm sorry? I need to explain why I got here earlier than you expected… all so you could warn Bella?"

"Yes, Edward, especially since you decided to come accompanied! She said in a very irritated voice looking at Tanya.

"I'm not sure who should be mad at who here Alice?" Then she looked at me with her usual pixie smile and jumped into my arms and hugged me.

"Oh Edward, I've missed you so much. I am so glad you're home."

It was like dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I lifted her down, "Alice, I'm not home. I'm only visiting. But can you please explain to me how Bella got here and what is going on?"

Alice filled me in, at lighting speed, on the events from the last couple of weeks; how Carlisle got Bella in his class and how they have all been spending time with her. I have to say it felt like a betrayal that my family would keep this secret from me all this time. But then again, I can't blame them. I refused to answer any of their calls; and they _were_ doing it for selfish reasons-they loved her too. Keeping away from Bella was what I wanted…but only for her own safety. NOT because I didn't want her.

Tanya was holding to my arm tightly. Alice and I were having one of our 'private' conversations. Then a flash came across- she noticed that Bella misunderstood my entrance with Tanya. I had to act quickly. I politely removed her arm and she looked at me with smoldering eyes, "Don't leave me all by my lonesome Edward."

"I'm sorry Tanya I have to take care of something…I'll be right back." I ran toward the kitchen and I saw Emmett speaking with Bella and putting his arm around her. Bella-there with Emmett? I hope he's just comforting her? What did she say?!

"Bella? Bella, Oh my god. What are you doing here?"

Emmett stood up with Bella still in his arm. Bella looked up at me with tears filling her eyes, then she ran out the back door into the yard. I looked at Emmett and he held his hand up. "Don't look at me bro, this is your mess to fix."

I nodded and quickly followed her outside. I approached her slowly…all the while her scent was burning my senses into a frenzy. I haven't had this feeling in so long…I had forgotten how much it affected me and how much I missed it; how much I missed _her_.


	13. The Confrontation

**(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 13

The Confrontation

Bella's POV

I was in another world. _I can't believe this...this is so surreal. What is he doing here? How can he do this to me?_ I heard a noise then turned around to see Edward standing there; looking beautiful and amazing and…confused. "What? What do you want? What are you looking at?"

He stopped in his tracks. "Bella, I, I don't understand...I don't even know how to start."

I put my hands at my waist and turned to him. "What do you mean you don't understand? You don't know how to start? I would start with how you got here even though no one in your family has heard from you in months and you just show up here without warning."

"Bella, what I don't understand is how you got to the party without me knowing about it. And how you even got to this state!"

"Well sorry to put a damper on your evening Edward, but I was invited by my friends, Alice and Jasper, to help celebrate their anniversary." He walked closer to me and I felt myself flinch back a bit. The idea of having him that close made me almost shiver, but was it fear or excitement? A feeling I hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity.

"I was invited too, they are my family remember? Alice invited me weeks ago. She left me a few messages begging me to come. I know Alice and I didn't think I'd have to formally reply since she already _knew_ I was coming once I had decided to do so. What I don't understand is why you need to know since, as I said, I am family."

That really pissed me off. How dare he turn it around like I'm being unreasonable! "You know Edward Cullen it's amazing how simple-minded you could be for a vampire that can read minds. You really are such an idiot sometimes! Alice is my friend and she knows what you put me through. She was only thinking that I may want to know so I could LEAVE before you showed up!" I spun around and continued walking toward the front of the house. He ran after me and grabbed my arm. Fire or was it electricity,pulsed through my arm through the rest of my body. I turned from the force, but was unable to move any further on my own. I felt dizzy. _I just couldn't let him see me crumble from his touch. _

Edward's POV

"What? What do you want? What are you looking at?"

She looked even prettier than I ever remembered in my dreams. My Bella-my love. You can't leave; so many questions. My heart aches for you, for your touch, for your kiss. I had to stop her. I didn't understand what she was saying. I was listening, but I just couldn't comprehend it; plus she stills looks adorable when she's angry. But why is she so angry? No matter what, Alice was my sister and we always had a special connection, so of course, I was going to be here. What did she mean, 'what I put her through'? It was the best thing for her. I can see it now. Going to college, new friends, everything. It was worth it right? She was about to run again. I could hear her heart racing-like it used to every time I touched her. I grabbed her arm, but she didn't have the same reaction as usual. She just stood there. Was she suddenly uncomfortable with me? Perhaps she no longer wants me? Maybe she did move on as I intended?

Bella's POV

"Bella, hold on! I was only doing what was best for you…trying to give you a normal life. Which I see now you're getting-- finally_._ I only want you to be happy."

"Well you got your wish Edward. I. Am. Happy. I was also happy that I thought I could finally stand in the same room with you and feel ok. But then you walked in here with _her. Tanya."_ He was surprised that I recognized her. I could see it on his face.

"Yes, that is Tanya. I was up in Denali visiting before I came down so we drove together since they were invited. Why does that matter?" Is he mocking me? Why does he have that smirk in his face? I realized maybe I was being jealous, and ridiculous. What claim did I have on him? He made a choice. I had to live with it. I didn't have any right to say these things to him.

"You're right Edward. It doesn't matter." I shook my head and took a pause. "Look, we both love Alice and Jasper, and this is for them, so lets stop fighting and behave like normal human beings, ok?" He gave me a look, "Well, you know what I mean" I turned back to the house not waiting for a response, "idiot" I mumbled under my breath, but I know he heard me. This would be an interesting night for sure.

Edward's POV

No need to emphasize how happy she is without me, but I was still confused. What was she getting at with all this Tanya talk? Does she think I am with her? What should it matter to her? .Happy. Maybe she is jealous. That thought gave my heart a lift but only for a moment. Wait--did she just call me _idiot_? I can play too. I always liked teasing her. If I push one more button, maybe I'll get her to blush, so I whispered, "Bella, you look beautiful tonight." She did not disappoint, but ignored me all the same.

.


	14. The Anniversary PartyPart II

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 14

The Anniversary Party-Part II

Bella's POV

Whew! I can't believe I survived that. Now will be the true test; to see if we can survive the evening being polite. I walked toward the house and Edward swiftly joined me. Once again, I felt that electricity I always felt when I was near him.

I walked into the kitchen and Alice was there waiting for me. She gave me a look like she saw something but couldn't tell me. I wondered if it had anything to do with what just happened. However, I made her promise not to interfere and at this point I was too tired to ask her for the information. If she really needed to tell me she would.

"So, did you two come to an agreement?" I smirked back at her.

"Yes, but you already knew that so why are you asking? I can't believe you didn't warn me Alice."

"Bella, I knew he was coming but I thought I had more time to warn you…he changed his mind at the last minute about when he was leaving. I thought he'd be here later." I love Alice, but sometimes she plays with people's lives a bit too much.

"Alice, I understand, but do you have any idea how humiliated I was? I mean I'm embarrassed enough in this get up" She looked at me with a shocked and offended face. "And then he walks through the door with that, that… Gwyneth Paltrow looking beauty queen!" I think I took her by surprise with that remark.

"Tanya?! You're worried about her? You think he's with _her_?"

"Uh, yeah, what else could I think, did you see the way she hung onto him?"

"Bella, he's not with her, at least that I can see anytime soon."

My frustration level was starting to rise. "But what about now Alice? Can you see him with her now? 'Cause it looks like that to me. Just turn around and look in your living room, you won't miss her; she is the one ALL over him."

"Well, I don't know, but I'll find out for you if you want? Although it seems very out of character for Edward."

"NO, absolutely not! You will not ask him anything about her. I don't want him thinking you're fishing for information, do you understand?" Then she pouted like I just took away her favorite designer shirt.

"Yes, I do. Fine. I won't ask him."

I was getting bored with the conversation. I just wanted to forget what had just happened and relax. "I'm tired of this, let's get a drink."

She hopped in step right next to me, "And dance?!"

"Only if I drink enough, and I'll have to take my shoes off. You've seen me on the dance floor--not pretty." As moved into the next room, I saw Edward chuckling to himself while looking in our direction. Great, I forgot, _stupid vampire hearing_.

We walked into the living room where most of the guests were gathered. People were in small groups chatting and drinking; oblivious to my pain and despair. Except for maybe Jasper, but he didn't seem to acknowledge it. I walked to the drink table and the bartender offered me a glass of what Alice called 'Sangria'. I took a sip. It was pretty good…much better than the beer I had the other night.

I began to feel calmer. Good. It was working. I glanced over at Rosalie cuddling who was with Emmett in the corner, speaking in their fast gibberish, but with loving glances toward each other…yucch! Then I turned to Esme and Carlisle acting as the perfect hosts, smiling and nodding to their guests. Jasper and Alice were dancing together like Fred and Ginger around the dance floor…they looked so happy. Then I saw him, and of course she was right next to him chatting away, still holding on to his arm. But he was watching me. So I raised my glass toasted to him, and slugged it down, not waiting to swallow before I poured the next one, and the next one. He gave me a wary look which I ignored by turning around and walking away.

I found Ben and Angela sitting quietly on the stairs. "Bella, I just saw you and Edward talking outside. Are you ok? Did you_ know_ he was coming? How did he get here-I thought he was out of the country?"

"You know Angela, I'm sorry but I just don't want to talk about it right now, is that ok? Can we just have some fun? I really need it." She smiled and nodded, raising her glass to toast. We talked for a little, mostly about what exciting things she had planned for us this summer when we go home.

Home seemed so far away right now. I longed to have the quiet of my room in Forks where things were easier and I didn't have to look at Edward's angelic face, and that unyielding vampire _slut_ next to him. How much more could I to take of this?


	15. Oh, Sweet Sangria

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 15

Oh, Sweet Sangria

Bella's POV

I was in a fog. The next thing I knew Emmett was yanking onto the dance floor. I was definitely feeling the effects of the Sangria so I didn't put up a fight. He was no Fred Astaire, but then again, I was no Ginger Rogers by any means. It felt strange having another "Vampire" man hold me instead of _him, _but it was a nice feeling nonetheless. I could feel Edward's eyes on us but I didn't care. Rosalie had about enough of our bonding and stepped in; but very graciously.

"You never drank around me." His cold breath was in my ear.

"That's because we never had the opportunity." I said cooly.

"Will you dance with me now?" I turned to look at him, unable to hide my shock.

"You want to dance with me? What would you're date say?" His expression was blank.

"Huh? My date?" Just then Tanya came over and shoved her arm through Edward's.

"Hi, you must be Bella. I've heard so much about you. I'm Tanya." She smiled smugly as she hung onto Edward's arm. I wanted to punch her square in the face if I thought I could do it without serious injury.

"Funny, I don't recall Edward saying that much about you". She shot me a nasty look and tilted her head seductively to speak to Edward.

"Edward, I want to dance. You promised we would dance tonight and I know what a good dancer you are." She was really making my blood boil.

"Ok Tanya, I know. I was actually asking…" I interrupted him.

"Oh, don't let me stand in your way. I have to use the bathroom anyway." Hoping she would get the hint that her little show was making me sick. With the feeling in my stomach from this Sangria stuff, it wouldn't surprise me if I really did.

Edward's POV

Tanya could be so overbearing sometimes. She knows she is beautiful but when will she understand that there is nothing there for me? I am so tired of this game with her. I may need to be a bit more firm this time around. And what was all that extra fluff about me being a good dancer?" Was she trying to make Bella jealous?

"Edward, what are you thinking about? I so very infrequently get to hear your thoughts while you are always able to hear mine." More dirty thoughts. _Is she insatiable_?

"I was just thinking how I don't understand this whole thing with Bella. I was surprised to see her but, not unhappy about it. She seems to think I don't want to see her." She grabbed my hand and placed it closer to her lower back.

"Oh Edward, don't think about _that girl_ one more minute. Do you know that jealousy is a powerful thing? Trust me I am woman." Was she suggesting I make Bella jealous with her?

"If she doesn't realize what she had, it's her loss. I, on the other hand know what I would like to have." She nudged my hand further down and rested it on her behind.

"Tanya enough. You know that I don't feel that way about you, and I certainly don't like playing games, especially at Bella's expense."

"I know you'll change your mind Edward, and I'll be here waiting when you do. Excuse me. I need to powder my nose."

Bella's POV

Boy she has some nerve! Using her slinky body and rubbing it all over him…she's like a cat in heat! At this point my stomach was doing somersaults. I hadn't eaten a thing all day and had plenty of drink, so I'm sure that had something to do with it. I kept staring at myself in the mirror. Looking back was a plain girl all dressed up in someone else's clothing. I felt like a fraud. The knock at the door startled me. "I'm sorry, I'll be out in a min.." Who but Tanya, was standing there gawking at me.

"Oh, hello Bella. I didn't realize you were still in here." I gave her a snarky look.

"Oh, did Edward want to stop dancing."

"Oh, no not at all. I came to powder my nose. I wanted to be sure I look my best for later." My mouth dropped and I quickly closed it. I KNOW she saw it. What? What?! What is 'later'?

"Oh, I'm sorry, well then I guess I'll let you have the room." I was so angry, but at the same time ashamed; ashamed of my reaction to what she said. Damn her, damn him! I need another drink!

I know Alice must have seen what happened. She came running towards me the second I was in her sights. "Don't, worry, Alice I am ok." So he is with some else, maybe even doing something else later tonight, but who cares.

"I just need another drink, come on." I grabbed her by the hand and led her back toward the bar.

"Um Bella, you already looked a little tipsy, to say the least, maybe I should take you home now?"

"Don't be ridiculous Alice. I want to stay and celebrate with you. Don't you want me here anymore? Aren't you being 'my friend' now?" I tried to give her the same puppy eyes she gave me earlier and it worked. Suddenly, she had a mischievous look in her eyes then called Rose and Angela over.

"What do you think, shall we do a shot girls?"

"A what?" Emmett was instantly at Rosalie's side and jumping with excitement.

"Nothing better than girls getting drunk…Rose and I have had some pretty "nice" times when she drinks".

That was a surprise. "Wait, I thought you guys couldn't drink?"

"No little sis, that is the one thing we can do; right rose? Go on, drink up". That one shot became another and then another, and then… I woke up; with a terrible head ache.

xxxx

I opened my eyes and the light shining into the room immediately caused a reflex of pain and nausea. I laid there for a bit and tried to recall the events that transpired last night. Although, I did remember shots, _oh, the shots_, I realized I couldn't remember much else after that. My head was going to explode. I started to notice that I was in a strange room. I began to look around for hints of my location and the sight of Edward sitting in the corner startled me. He was just looking at me, with some sort of amused look on his face. I jumped up with a gasp, "Oh no, oh no, crap, crap. How did I get here?" I looked down and quickly became conscious that I wasn't dressed. "Where are my clothes?! And what are you doing here-shouldn't you be in someone else's room?"

I ignored what ever answer he was planning to give me and wrapped the sheet tightly around myself, gathered my clothes and marched into the bathroom; thankfully without tripping. I washed my face, put my hair up and got dressed. Someone (Alice I'm sure) left me some clothes laid out on the hamper; at least I didn't have to put that dress back on.

When I came out of the bathroom he was gone. I took a deep breath and went downstairs, where I noticed everyone sitting in the kitchen whispering; and I am sure it was about me, because as soon as they saw me they stopped talking and Emmett burst out laughing.

"Well, Alice and Jasper, I do wish you all the happiness. Carlisle, Esme thanks for, for everything. I'll see you guys later." Emmett just couldn't stop. Even Jasper and Edward were chuckling, which by now was starting to really annoy me, so the only thing I could think to say was, "I obviously behaved, well, differently last night, but you know what, I had a lot of fun so if you don't like it, well, well, _just bite me_!" All I heard was an explosion of laughter as I ran out the front door.


	16. The Morning After

(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)

Chapter 16

The Morning After

Bella's POV

I could still hear them laughing back in the house. "Where is my car?!" I was so frustrated I actually said it out loud.

"Angela drove it home last night...just in case you thought you could drive yourself home." I turned around and Edward was standing right behind me with a crooked smile. "Friends don't let friends drive drunk." He always did that when he was trying to dazzle me. I shook my head back and forth. He realized that I knew what he was trying to do.

"Why don't you let me drive you to your dorm?" I knew I had no choice or I'd have to walk the whole way; so I just nodded and reluctantly walked with him to his car.

I couldn't stand the long silence. It went on long enough. "So, are you going to tell me what happened last night or will I have to guess?" I bit my lip, afraid to really know the details.

"Oh not much really. After a few too many of those shots, you decided to pull Alice and Rose to the dance floor." I cringed- I was 'fast' dancing? He ignored my physical embarrassment and continued, "Then the bartender hit on you, but don't worry, you told him you didn't plan on dating ever again." I put my hands over my face. I didn't want to hear any more, but I had a feeling this was only the beginning of the nightmare. "And then you threw up. Thank god Alice saw it coming and I was able to direct you to an open window."

_Ugh!!_ "I got sick?" He nodded and he just kept going on, as if reading a shopping list.

"After that, I helped you up to my room."

I spun my head around suddenly alert. "What? Wait, why didn't Alice helped me? She was the one that got me into all that trouble in the first place."

"Well, you heard Emmett explain some of the effects of alcohol on our kind? Alice also had a _few_ drinks; and it was her anniversary after all, so I offered to take you off her hands."

"Hmmf. I wonder, why weren't you 'taking care' of your friend, wasn't she also drinking? I am sure she would have liked to be under the effects of alcohol _with you."_ I had to remind my foggy brain to keep my stupid, jealous comments to myself.

"Actually, I don't know what happened to her after I took you upstairs. In any case, I am glad I did. It was _entertaining_ to say the least." I looked at him with pure hatred. "You were sleep-talking; glad you haven't gotten over that charming habit. You called her a few-very un ladylike names. I was shocked you had such a vocabulary Bella!" He brought his hand up to his chest to imitate the shock. I was fuming, and he could tell. I know he was enjoying this! "She is not a bad person you know." I gave him a look with raised eyebrows. "And besides, I don't like redheads anyway, don't you know that?"

"Yeah, sure." Again, I had to keep my big mouth shut. But I needed to know what happened and why I ended up in his room—barely dressed. "So, how sick did I get?"

"Well, you were pretty bad for a few minutes, but then you stopped. I did have to help you wash your hair, and get you out of your dress. You were covered in, well, you know."

Oh god! Why me? He had to undress me! I could barely look at him now. I kept running my hands over my face hoping to wipe away the humiliation. Again, he gave me that adorable crooked smile. _I hate it when he does that, I'm helpless._ "Don't worry, you told me not to peek, and you know I'm a gentleman."

I could feel the blood rush to my face. "Ok, so um, did anything else happen that I should know?" _How could it get any worse?_ And then he answered.

"Well, yes, I guess you could say that. After we got you settled in my room, you told me that even though you were SO OVER me…that maybe I was right when I said that for humans love and lust don't always keep the same company." _What was he getting at? _"And that even though we weren't together anymore, we should get the whole thing over with before I leave again-no strings attached." I gasped. _How could I not remember this?!_

"Don't worry, I can be an _idiot,_but I am still honorable." _Whew! Thank god. _"Although, if we're being completely honest…I did peek just a bit, but it wasn't my fault you weren't wearing a bra!"

Was he kidding with me? "YOU didn't!" I smacked him as hard as I could only to hurt my hand of course. _Why do I keep doing that?!_ "Ouch!"

"Are you ok? Let me take a look at that." He grabbed my hand. I could feel the blood rush through my body and heat was rising. _Why did I have to react to him this way?_

He examined it closely and told me it was only a bruise. "I have some ice, would like me to get it?"

I responded with my head down; examining the spot on my hand where he touched me-hoping he left some sort of mark. "Uh yeah, that would be great, thanks". He proceeded to take my hands into his own and cover the area that was beginning to swell. "I can't believe I just fell for that." His icy hands felt perfect for the throbbing pain, not to mention what that touch was doing to the rest of body.

I shook my head to clear those thoughts. I asked as casually as I could, "Are you leaving soon or are you staying with your family for a while?"

"Do you want me to stay?" _Shoot, walked right into that one_. "Sorry, I take it back, don't answer that. I know I promised."

"What do you mean? You promised what?" I have no memory of the conversations we had last night. I can't even begin to comprehend what I was blabbering in my drunken state.

"Oh, that was the other thing. You made me promise not talk about 'us' or '_our relationship'_so you can still have a relationship with my family. But, to answer your question, and since you already stated you were ok with me staying with _my family, _until our trip; yes, I am staying."

I was thoroughly confused. He _wasn't_ leaving, but he was taking a trip; wasn't that the same? "Trip, what trip?" My heart started beating faster at the thought of him leaving again. The panic was beginning to build but I tried my best to quell it.

"Yes, you don't remember? You suggested to Esme that now that we were all 'friends' again, we should go away together for spring break She immediately took your advice and booked a trip. We're going to an Island we go to frequently for a little vacation. We leave next week."

"I don't believe it. _I_ suggested we go away together? All of us? I don't know Edward, I don't think I can get away." I had no idea why I thought up this ridiculous plan, but I had to find a way out.

"Oh, no you put the idea in Esme's head and that was it. There is no arguing with her once that happens. Besides, if you cancel, she'll be devastated."

"Edward, I don't have any clothes, money or time to go away."

"Forget it Bella, you know you don't have to pay for anything. You're done with your project and you know that Alice has your wardrobe 'issue' handled. Discussion is over." I knew I was defeated. I guess a week away with the Cullen's wouldn't be the worst time a girl could have.

I had forgotten he was still holding my hand. I was lost in the sounds of his voice, when I realized the time. "Oh shoot! I am late for work. I'm sorry but I gotta go." I started to get out of the car.

"Bella?" I turned to see his face right in front of me. I stopped breathing. "This was nice. Us just talking, not fighting."

"Yes, I know, it was." I said as I got out the car and walked back toward the dorm.


	17. Spring Break

(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)

Chapter 17

Spring Break

Bella's POV

Alice called me the next day with all our plans. Everything was set and she was picking me up at 5am the following morning. She even called my bosses at the bookstore and the Library to tell them that I had plans for Spring Break with the "family" and that I would be back the day before classes re-started. Great. I guess I have no excuses at all. Seven fun-filled days with the Cullen's on a remote Island.

xxxx

I have to admit I thought the trip would be long and tiresome, but Alice and Esme kept me chatting when I wasn't sleeping and it went quite fast. Edward was kind enough to leave me be.

The first few days of the trip went smoothly. The Island was beautiful, right out of a travel book. The house was amazingly open and full of natural light. I guess I should never be surprised by their taste. We spent our days snorkeling, swimming, relaxing. We even went hiking through one of the lush tropical forests that was nearby.

I only tripped and fell once, but apparently Alice had forewarned Edward, and he was able to catch me before I went over the lip of the swamp-like pond we were standing near. "Careful! Oh, I got you, don't worry."

"I guess my feet never do listen to my brain. Thanks." My face started to blush and I pulled away from his firm grasp. "I got it now, I'm ok."

"Good thing Alice saw it coming or you would have had to walk all the way back to the house in smelly clothes." I gave him a snarky look but then realized I was lucky since we hiked about 3 miles to get there. That walk home would have stunk; literally.

xxxx

The rest of the week went the same way, minus the hike for me. I didn't want to be in that position again. Being that close to Edward proved to be very difficult for me. Every time he got too close the electricity between us could light up Seattle. I _wanted_ to be near him, to touch him; tell him I loved him, but I just couldn't. I still have suspicions that he's with Tanya.

She called him earlier that day…she had some nerve. I didn't hear her side but I did hear him say, "Sure, no problem. I'll see you when I get back." I wanted desperately to know what that was about but of course I had no right to ask.

Edward's POV

This week has been so nice. I never realized how much I missed my family. Being around Bella again, has been wonderful and terrible all at once. I miss her so much sometimes I feel my heart will explode. I long to touch her; kiss her; hold her close, but she seems so distant sometimes, almost like she is avoiding me on purpose. Is it possible I hurt her so much she can't forgive me? Our little excursion into the jungle brought us closer, at least physically, for only a moment. How can she think to wear flip flops hiking in the forest? She knows her track record for tripping and falling. In any case, I was glad for the heads up from Alice, because I was able to save her from a very embarrassing mess. Not to mention the fact that I got to touch her, even if it was only a moment.

I'd been thinking of maybe doing something for her; a gesture, a gift of some sort. I know she doesn't like gifts but if it was something sentimental and not purchased, she may take it, no? I know she loves books so I thought maybe something like an old copy of one her favorite stories. Would it be too bold a move for me?

I've got it! _Wuthering Heights_. It just occurred to me that Tanya mentioned she was trying to get rid of whole stack of first edition books her last professor 'boyfriend' had given her. Maybe he had a copy? Now that would be very lucky indeed.

I dialed her number; damn, voicemail. "Tanya, it's Edward. I was hoping you could call me back. I know you mentioned your last boyfriend left you some old books you were trying to get rid of. I'm looking for one in particular. If you wouldn't mind, would you check for a copy of Wuthering Heights? If you find it, I can pick it up next week when I get back. Let me know today if you can or I'll have to make other arrangements. Thanks."

xxxx

Bella's POV

We spent most of our evenings watching TV, playing cards or board games. I don't really know what went on when I went to bed but I guess that is the price you pay for living with Vampires. When we played a game, there was constant bickering about making teams because Edward could read minds and Alice could see the future, so there wasn't much winning being done by anyone but them. Emmett would get an occasional win in when he would start to sing pirate songs in his head to distract Edward. _I thought that was funny._ I had avoided Edward as best I could without being impolite. I needed to keep my distance from him. Any proximity to him would cause me to get turned around or distracted and I really wanted to relax and try to enjoy this trip without incident. But our last night there…things changed.


	18. Playing Games

(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)

Chapter 18

Playing Games

Bella's POV

Carlise and Esme wanted some alone time so decided they would go to the other side of the island to spend the night. A year or so ago, they built a little cottage on the water that had a nice private beach. The rest of the house members decided to shake things up a bit and change our usual Poker to Truth or Dare. Which was expected to be interesting since I was the only human in the house and 'dare' would mean a very different, and less dangerous task for me, than what I could only imagine they would think up for themselves.

We decided on teams to make it more balanced, and before I could refuse to be with Edward, Alice stepped in and chose me; which was a relief. That left Edward and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett left to team up.

For the better part of the game most of them decided on 'truth'. Even I did when they asked "What was the craziest thing you've ever done?" to which I responded, "Made arrangements to meet a crazed lunatic vampire alone without any exits or protection." Everyone laughed, except for Edward, who I could tell wasn't too keen on remembering that incident.

When it was Edward and Jasper's turn the question was, "If there was anyone in the world you could sleep with; human, famous or vampire, and you can't choose your spouse, who would it be?"

Rosalie immediately yelled out, "Brad Pitt! I've always wanted to see what the fuss was about."

Emmett glared at her for only a moment and then said, "In that case, Angelina Jolie. I've always wanted to see what Brunettes were like."

Jasper was ready to answer and Edward stopped him just before he spoke. "We take Dare." Jasper gave Edward a confused look, but then he must have said something mentally, and let it drop. "Um, ok. Dare."

Alice, Emmett and Rose all looked at each other. At this point I had no idea what to expect, then in unison they yelled, "Strip and streak!"

My face whirled around as I glared at all of them. What did they say?_ They wanted Jasper and Edward to strip_?! Oh my god. Oh my god. _He wouldn't, would he_?

Jasper seemed surprised by the ballsy request. He began to chuckle. "Oh come on you guys, seriously?" Then Edward followed that with, "That is completely juvenile, and not to mention very impolite."

Alice brimming with laughter in her trilling voice said, "Those are the rules guys, sorry. You have to do it. Besides, you've got nothing to be embarrassed about-especially you Jazz." She winked at her husband with a coy but devilish grin.

I suddenly felt very flustered. The thought of Edward running naked in front of me was more than I could bear. I jumped up from my seat, "Um, I need to use the bathroom. Go ahead and start without me." I started walking toward the bathroom and turned to the group, "Um actually, just give me a yell when it's all done."

Emmett gave me a look. "You've got to be kidding Bella? Are you really that shy? It's no big deal we've seen them naked before."

"To be clear Emmett, _I_ haven't seen any of you naked before, and for now I'd like to keep it that way if you don't mind." I left the room in a flash, only to hear the loud shouting and cat-calling in my wake; at what I can only assume was Jasper and Edward completing their task.

xxxx

About fifteen minutes passed and there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

It was Alice. "Jeez Bella, could you at least make an effort here? I love you. You are my best friend, but I swear I don't get you sometimes." I know I have been a tad 'off' this week, but what is she talking about?

"Bella, he is here with all of us again finally and he's trying to enjoy himself. And trying to get back into your good graces at every turn; and all you do is either act as if he's not in the room or you act aloof around him. Then if he leaves the house for any period of time, you just stare at the clock, or the door, or the window, waiting for his return. You don't fool me Bella Swan. I know you still love him and want nothing more than to be back with him."

I couldn't get a word out during that speech, but she was right about everything. I had to put on an act when I was around him, so he wouldn't see that I was desperately still in love with him. "I'm sorry Alice. I know. I've been terrible haven't I? I just can't seem to get it right. I _do_ still love him. I admit it ok?! But how am I supposed to go back after he hurt me so much. He LEFT me Alice. I was so lost without him; I wasn't whole. I don't even know if I am now." She put her arm around me soothingly and let me cry it out for a while.

We didn't spend too much longer away from the group. Someone would have come to look for us sooner or later and I didn't need the added attention. We went out to the living room and realized the whole group had cleared out. I have to admit that I was thankful for the reprieve. I don't think the swelling had fully gone down around my eyes yet and I didn't want Edward to see me like that.

Alice noticed a note on the table.

_Gone Swimming. We were naked anyway. _

_Come join us._

Well, I knew they didn't mean me. Alice looked at me pleadingly but I said, "Go ahead without me. Have fun. I could eat now anyway."


	19. Emotions Run High

(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)

Chapter 19

Emotions Run High

Bella's POV

Everyone was in the living room relaxing after their swim. Rose and Emmett were watching TV. Jasper and Edward were playing chess and Alice was doing something on the computer. I was re-reading _Persuasion_, when suddenly Jasper and Edward started arguing. Initially it sounded like Edward was reading Jaspers' thoughts but I thought I heard him mumble to 'let it go'.

Suddenly it escalated to Edward growling and getting into Jasper's face. "Drop it Jasper, I am warning you!"

Jasper crouched down into a defensive stance. "You know what Edward, 'warn' me all you like but I am so tired of this. It is not only affecting you. I can sense everything you are feeling and you're not even trying to level yourself out! You go from grouchy to happy, depressed to excited, and back around. I am trying to empathize and even help you through it, but this; this is by far, the worst it's ever been. Either you tell her or I will!" Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and fell completely silent. I glanced at Edward. His eyes were full of fear. You could see in his eyes that he was imploring for Jasper to stop.

Edward's POV

I looked around the room and every thought was directed at me, encouragement, irritation, even humor.

Jasper: _"Go on Edward, you have to. Just get it over with._"

Emmett: "_I am here for you, come on bro it's now or never-need a little push?"_

Rosalie_: "All this drama, 'she loves me, she loves me not', just get this over with so we can back to our normal lives."_

I noticed even though the room was quiet that there were secret conversations going on. Alice broke the silence. "Edward stop reading our minds, you know it is not fair to Bella. I am sure she also wants to know what is going on. Right Bella?"

I guess I should really get this over with, or they are going to do it for me. "Bella, may I talk to you for a moment outside?" I couldn't believe my ears when she responded 'No'. Was my sincerity not plain or my desperation to be alone with her?

"No Edward, whatever it is just say it here, in front of everyone."

I lost it; I lost all the composure and self control I tried so hard all week to maintain. I turned on _all_ of them.

I started with Emmett because he found the situation funny. "Emmett, sometimes your humor can be very cruel, you would laugh at anyone's expense; and you Rose, just enable him further."

"And Alice, my little know it all, controlling sister, married to Jasper the master manipulator. Both of you are always trying to control other people's lives. What a perfect pair you make!"

I felt a wash of calm come over me but it only worked for a minute as I realized it was an outside influence. "There you go again, Jasper. Would you do me a favor and stop trying to _calm and encourage_ me?"

I glanced over at Bella. She didn't seem to think she was part of the attack and when I turned to her, I think she was surprised. "And you Bella Swan; you are the worst. You send me so many mixed signals that if I were in traffic there would be cars crashed all over the place! You're so sweet and fragile, but yet so STUBBORN and THICKHEADED!" I was furious and I need to get away from all the mental attacks. I stormed out of the room straight out the back door.

Bella's POV

"What just happened, did he just insult all of us? And why did he turn on me; I didn't do anything?" Alice came and sat by me.

"Bella, why didn't you go with him?"

"Why should I? So he can tell me he is leaving me-_again_? I'd rather take news with you by my side. I wasn't going to go with him, only to be left all alone again when he was done with me. If he doesn't want me, at least you guys do, right?"

She leaned closer to me and took my hand. "Is that why you didn't go? Is that what you think is going on?"

I yanked my hand back and pointed at Jasper. "Yes. Didn't you hear what Jasper said? That he was going through all those emotions and that he didn't want to tell me about it. He probably just doesn't know how to break it to me all over again. Why should I give him the satisfaction?"

Alice stood up and faced me with her hands on her hips. "Jeez Bella, you are thickheaded, my brother is right. What Jasper meant was that as he takes in all these emotions that Edward has experienced ever since he met you. This last week has been the worst for him. You see, Edward was 'grouchy' before he met you, 'happy' when he fell in love with you, 'depressed' when he had to leave you, and 'excited' when he saw you at the party. Then, being able to see you every day since then, it's been a whirlwind of emotions all over again; and poor Jazz's been trying to fight it at every turn, but he can only handle so much you know?"

I interrupted. "I don't see you Guys _every day_. Stop exaggerating." She looked at me with her head cocked to the side.

"Bella, I'm sure you don't realize this, but your 'stalker' sees you every day. He walks you home every night after work, he walks you to your classes, and even watches you sleep."

I had no idea what to say. _Edward was watching me? Following me around?_

Emmett decided to jump in, and confuse me even further by adding, "And also 'depressed' because he keeps changing his mind about telling you how he is really feeling. Like I told you before, he still loves you little sis, but we have the blind leading the blind here."

Jasper approached me slowly and put his hand on my shoulder. "Bella, if you've noticed, I haven't been in your proximity very much lately. Not because of the temptation or anything; I have much more control now. It is because, how shall I say it? _the atmosphere_, is quite uncomfortable when the two of you are in the same room."

I was still having trouble understanding what they were all saying. "But I have been nothing but polite towards him."

"Bella, I can deal with Emmett and Rose's continuous lust, but honestly, the way he yearns for you. There is this electricity constantly bouncing between the two of you and it has my nerves nearly destroyed."

That was the last thing I was expecting to hear. He _yearned_ for me? I felt the electricity-there was no denying it, but could he really want to be with me? "I don't know what to say. Are you sure? Really?" I felt my face blush.

"Yes, really Bella, but let me tell you what the biggest issue is. Edward doesn't realize I am getting those same feelings from you, so I am getting a double dose of sexual tension, with a heaping pile of passion, and all these months of repressed love." The rest of the group snickered.

"I thought…I thought he wanted to take me out privately to finally tell me about Tanya and to tell me that he was leaving again. That is why I didn't go. Alice, is he still around?"

"No. Actually, he was so miffed. It looks like he decided to go hunting. Between you and me Bella, and everyone else in the room, I don't see him leaving you ever again." She hugged me tightly and wandered over to Jasper taking his arm. "Who's thirsty after all this drama? Edward's idea seems like a good one to me." They all got up in agreement leaving me with friendly acknowledgements and left the room.

I was relieved to finally be in the house alone. After all that talk I needed some silence to contemplate what I just heard. I had to collect my thoughts to be ready for when he got back. I guess we really _did_ need to talk.


	20. Time to Leave

Chapter 20

Time to Leave

Bella's POV

I woke up with the sun glaring in my eyes. As I groggily looked around the room, I realized I wasn't in the living room anymore. I must have fallen asleep. Someone had to move me; I don't remember getting myself into bed at all. I sat up, stretched and turned to look at the clock on the night stand; where I noticed a folded white piece of paper.

Bella

We all got together early and took all the bags to the boat. I left some clothes for you. Edward will bring you over when you are ready(Good Luck).

Love,

Alice

Great, I was all alone in the house with Edward. I guess that conversation had to happen sometime. I dragged myself out of bed, went to the bathroom to clean up and got dressed in what Alice left for me. She didn't do too badly actually, she left a peach colored sundress, and sandals; flat sandals. She knows me so well.

I thought it was time to see what Edward was up to, and of course, get this whole thing over with. I don't know why but the butterflies in my stomach weren't because I was scared. I think I was…excited. _Could that be_? I was so taken back by what they were all telling me last night. Was I wrong to hope that he could still have feelings for me? Are they at all like how I feel for him? There is only one way to find out I guess….

I walked down the hall toward Edward's room. Just as I approached I heard his cell phone ringing. I stopped and waited.

"Hi Tanya, I'm so glad you called back. Really? You did?! That is great news! Believe it or not, after the day I had yesterday this has made it all worth it. Oh never mind that. I'll make arrangements to fly directly there. We're leaving this afternoon. Yes, I am very excited. See you soon."

There was silence, then he made another call, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. _Could I have heard that right_? Did he say 'I'll fly directly there…I can't wait'? He is unbelievable!! How could they have been so wrong about him? And Alice too of all people! My heart started racing and I felt my face burn with rage.

I was so flustered I clumsily turned on my heels and ran toward the stairs. I must have skipped a few in my haste, only to fly almost head first into the wall on the first landing.

The next thing I knew Edward was holding me; closer than I would have liked at that moment, rescuing me once more from injury. "Bella! Bella, are you ok? What are you doing? I didn't know you were up already."

I couldn't ignore the immediate tension between us as I looked up into his glorious face. "I'm fine Edward, and I'm sure you didn't."

"Huh? Uh, ok. You have to be more careful on these stairs, they tend to get moist from the humidity in the air."

"Yeah, so, I'd really like to get going now; and from the sounds of it, you can't wait to leave either." He looked at me like he had no idea what I meant.

"Oh, ok, sure. They are just waiting on us to get down to the dock. All the stuff is at the boat already." His nonchalance was really beginning to irritate me. I yanked myself from his grip and pushed ahead of him as we descended the stairs.

The ride to the airport was slow and quiet. I'm sure the tension was palpable but no one said a thing, not even Esme. I could sense there was a conversation quietly going on between Edward and Alice, but of course, they were thinking it and not speaking aloud; typical and rude, but who cares. I just kept staring out the window of the car as got closer to our destination. I couldn't wait to get home, and away from him. Suddenly the thought triggered an intense need to cry, but I managed to hold back. That was reserved for later on when I was alone; for sure I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

We all filtered into the airport, I noticed Edward speaking privately to Carlisle and Esme. Their conversation ended, he kissed Esme on the cheek, and walked toward us.

"I will see you all later. I'm actually taking a different flight home. I have something I need to do." The group looked all acknowledged him, but didn't seem too surprised by his statement. He then turned to me and said, "Bella I have to go somewhere before getting back to Anchorage. Would you please do me a favor and go to our house before you head back to the dorms? There is still something I'd like to discuss with you."

I couldn't believe it. I was actually dumbfounded. The _nerv_e of him. Why couldn't he just go quietly? Why did he have to spell it out for me? I already knew his stupid plans. And as nicely as he said it, that didn't sound like asking for a favor, it sound more like an order. Yeah that's it--crush all my hopes while I also having to obey your orders. There was no way I was going, but then I realized, I might as well have him say it out loud--again. Maybe then I would finally get it and finally be able to let him go once and for all. "Um, yeah, sure, I guess so…Why not?" I wondered if he sensed the sarcasm in my voice.

We parted ways, with me and my group heading home to Anchorage, and him heading to what I could only guess was Denali, where is _lover_ waited for him.


	21. Back in Anchorage

**(Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 21

Back in Anchorage

Bella's POV

The flight was long. I pretended to sleep so I wouldn't have to talk to Alice, and surprisingly she let me be. But I barely slept and who could blame me? I had been through the ringer that week, between trying to bear his presence, to hoping there may be a chance for us, to devastation all over again, knowing that wouldn't happen. I was truly exhausted. And now, I had to endure it all over all again, just to get the closure I so desperately needed. I contemplated on how would he tell me. Would he admit he was in love with her? It cut my insides, to even utter the words. How could he _love her_? Then again, how could he not love someone that looked like her. I still couldn't process how he could have been _so in love_ with me once and now, nothing? Well, I guessed I would have the answer soon enough.

Edward's POV

Tanya was right the book was in perfect condition. After all we'd been through, I realized she really was a good friend. I know her feelings for me will fade with time. I truly feel someone is out there for her, she deserves to be happy.

I left Denali and I decided to run back to Anchorage instead of waiting for another flight. I knew their flight wouldn't arrive for a several hours and I had plenty of time to get back and prepare. Was I crazy to think that Bella would take me back because of a book I gave her? No, no, not just the book, but because she still loved me? I knew that was too much to hope for but I could tell there was something between us still. Alice seemed hopeful nonetheless. I hoped she didn't ruin the surprise. It's always been difficult for her to keep secrets and not to interfere. Right then I made a promise to myself that if Bella took me back, I would never let her go again. I would be with her forever.

Bella's POV

As we approached the house, I began to feel frustrated and tense. I had a new set of butterflies in the pit of my stomach, almost as if I was going to be sick. Everyone was chatting away happily, while my life was crumbling to pieces right in front of them. I wanted to shout at them and tell them to shut up, but then I realized they would all think I was a little crazy…well crazier than they thought already.

I walked to the front door and noticed the back of Edward's head on the couch inside. I knew this was it. As we all shuffled in, Edward got up to us. He was smiling, almost bouncing in place. He seemed almost happy, even excited, which was very strange considering the circumstances, but then it hit me. He must have seen Tanya…they must have…oh no! I didn't think I could take anymore, this was just too much for me finally.

He spoke as I was arranging my thoughts, "Hi Guys nice to see you. What took you so long?" He smirked at Emmett and he returned the favor by punching him in the arm. "Bella, I've been waiting for you. Would you mind joining me out on the back porch? I'd like to talk with you."

I suddenly felt sick as all the blood rushed to my head. I actually thought I may faint, and I think I did because the next thing I knew I was on the lounge chair out on the back deck. Edward was looming over me when I opened my eyes. Actually, they all were…and just staring at me. But h_e_ was looking at me with his beautiful angelic face and warm inviting smile. "Bella, honey, are you feeling ok?" Bella, _Honey_? Did he just say that? "Bella, can you speak?" I nodded then said, "Yeah, I'm ok. I don't know what happened, maybe low blood sugar." I lied. Alice handed me a glass of water and quickly everyone disappeared. I guess they didn't want to be here to see this. I wished I could disappear with them.

"Bella, do you feel up to talking? I really want to say a few things." I sat up and swung my legs around to the floor. "Yeah. I told you I'm fine. Hit me." My response was quipped I know, but I didn't feel like dragging this out any longer. He was a little confused by my remark, but continued.

"Bella, I don't quite know how to say this."

"Then just say it Edward, don't beat around the bush, spit it out."

He glared at me, for my rudeness I'm sure, but he had that look of confusion on his face again. "Um, ok." He reached around his left side and picked something up. "I got this for you. I hope you like it." I looked down and saw a small package wrapped in brown paper. I had no idea what to expect. I gingerly took the package and unwrapped it slowly. When I realized what it was, I was thoroughly baffled.

"Edward, I, I don't understand. You are giving _me_ a gift?" He just nodded.

"Do you like it?"

"Um yeah. Actually it's amazing. How did you get this? Why are you giving this to me?" He laughed for a minute and reached for my empty hand.

"Bella, I have been so foolish. I have let my fears take control of my feelings; my feelings for you. I thought that if I gave you something meaningful, and not flowers or candy, like most people give when they ask for forgiveness, you would give me a chance to…well, so you would give me a chance."

What was he saying? It made no sense to me at all. Did he just say, "Ask for forgiveness?"


	22. A New Day

**(Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of these characters. We just love them so much we had to borrow them)**

Chapter 22

A New Day

Edward's POV  
Ok, I said it. Well, I said as much as I could, which was a start. Why was she looking at me that way? She had to see this coming, they've already told her, that I still want to be with her. She almost looks _puzzled_. I thought she wanted to have this conversation? Maybe I made a mistake…maybe I was wrong; maybe even Alice was wrong and she misread what she saw? I had to get a grip, she hadn't even said anything yet. I needed to at least give her a minute to respond.

Bella's POV

I couldn't form any words. My mind was racing in all directions. Nothing he said made any sense to me. I was tired and confused and….engraged! I felt a fire ignite in me and I suddenly realized why I was so confused, because I was getting so many mixed messages. Maybe I wasn't crazy after all; maybe he was-maybe they all were?!

"Edward Cullen, I swear, I am so furious I would punch you if I knew it wouldn't break my hand!" He was definitely shocked at my reaction because he let go of my hand and stood to sit on the other chair to get some distance.

"You have some nerve. I've had nothing but mixed messages from you. It's been over a year since you left me sobbing and broken in the woods. I tried to move on but then, by some strange twist, the place I go to get away from you, I run into your family! Then you show up and _you're not alone_. Lucky me! You have _Tanya_ with you. You couldn't wait to flaunt her in front of me. You said nothing was going on but clearly she doesn't know that. Then your family decides to tell me all about how your feelings for me haven't changed. Which of course gave me hope that maybe you _had_ changed your mind after all this time and wanted me back." I've never been one for dramatics, but I felt the need to stand. I could feel the tears betray my resolve as I continued. "And then I overhear you talking to someone and that you "can't wait" to see her. 'Her' I assume was Tanya you were speaking to on the phone yesterday? Of course, you have to fly to her right away as our little trip was ending. But the best is when you showed up here, and gave me this _gift_. Once again, mixed messages! I can't take it anymore. If you want to be with Tanya just say it. I cannot take one more day of confusion. Just tell me it's finally over and let's get on with our lives! No pun intended".

I had to stop and take a breath, I had rambled on so long I forgot to breathe. I actually collapsed back into the chair with a 'humpf'. I didn't hear anything for a moment. It was silent. Then there was an eruption of laughter coming from Edward's direction. As I looked up, he was buckled over in hysterics. _Was he laughing at me?!_ The nerve of him, will he never stop humiliating me?! Finally, when he seemed to have gained some composure, he took a deep breath and reached for my hand. I hesitated by pulling back, but then I let him take it. I guess I wanted to feel his touch, even if it was going to be for the last time.

"Bella, my sweet, silly, confused, adorable, Bella. I think you have this whole thing all wrong; so very wrong." I opened my mouth as if to protest and he raised is hand, "Please let me continue, I allowed you to speak what was on your mind, no?" I nodded.

"As I was saying…Believe it or not, I think I actually understood everything you said, but again, you could not be more wrong in your assumptions. So let me break it down for you. I came to Anchorage to see my family and be here to celebrate Alice and Jasper's anniversary. As I told you that night, I only arrived with Tanya because she was coming anyway and she wanted to ride with me. We hadn't seen each other in a long while and she wanted to catch up. Then you had your little drunken exploit, which I have to add, was very cute." I made a face, but he went on. "Then on our trip you were so distant, and even hostile. I thought maybe I was wrong about your potential feelings for me, but I still hoped. So after Jasper's, well actually the whole family's, lashing, I knew I had to speak to you that night and get it out in the open. When you refused, I was frustrated so I chose to hunt and relieve some stress. When I got back and you were asleep on the couch so I carried you to your room so you would be more comfortable. _I really do enjoy watching you sleep you know._ The next morning I had it in my head that we would talk. Alice even helped by taking everyone out early so we'd be alone but then you storm out of the house before I even got a chance. As far as what you said about 'not being able to wait to see Tanya', that wasn't entirely false." I tried to stand and leave at that point, but he pulled me back to the seat. "Please Bella, indulge me a few more minutes? As I was saying, _Tanya_ had a boyfriend who left her many old books. I asked her to locate one for me and as luck would have it she found it." He gestured toward the book lying on the chair next to me and touched the cover. "This is the book. I wanted to give you something special, meaningful; something you could have and think of me. So, I wasn't as anxious to see _her_ as I was to _get to her_ so I could have the book for you by the time you got back."

He paused and took a breath. "Bella, this has always been about you and me. I have never, ever wanted Tanya in that way. When I left last year it was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I wanted you to be happy, be safe. I thought the best way was for me to leave you alone. I can't tell you how I suffered after that. I was living in squalor, bouncing from place to place with no direction. I was lost in every sense of the word. I knew I'd have to come home to you at some point. Then when Carlisle called me to come to Anchorage, I thought it would be a good first step back to Forks; and I did long to see my family once more. Then with unexpected luck, you were here already; I thought it was a sign. After all this time you were here in front of me. I thought I was dreaming. Now, can you see how wrong you were? Do you understand what I am telling you? I love you Bella, more than words can say. I can't be without you any longer. I want to be with you forever. If you'll have me?"

Bella's POV

I was stunned. I felt like I was floating out of my body. I wasn't sure if I understood all of what he said, but I did hear one thing. _He loved me._ After a few minutes passed, I realized I had been crying, but not from the previous frustrations but from relief--joy. I was overwhelmed by what he had said. I didn't know what to do but my eagerness got the better of me and I leapt into his arms and kissed him. He was taken by surprise but only for a moment. He kissed me back, heartily and fully. Our bodies began to entwine, but he pulled back suddenly; leaving me hanging and dazed.

"So does this mean you understand now?" I giggled and bowed my head. He lifted my chin with his finger to look directly into my face.

"Yes. I believe I do. _You love me_. You want me…forever right?"

He smiled, kissed me lightly on the lips and said, "Yes, Isabella Swan, you are correct, on all accounts; especially 'forever'."

Edward looked over towards the door and said out loud, "Yes, you can all come out now."

The whole family raced outside to join us at once. Emmett picked me up and pulled me into a big hug. "Great to have you back sis, for good this time."

Alice was bouncing around us waiting for her turn. When Emmett put me down she reached for me, hugging me tightly. "You were always my sister, but now it's official. Take my word for it." She smiled and spun around to hug Edward.

This was the way it would always be; all of us together for eternity, with my wonderful, wacky, loving family. And I couldn't be happier.


	23. AN

**A/N: Thanks for much for reading. This was our first story and we're so excited about the positive reviews. We're done with our 2****nd**** story –please check it out and let us know what you think. The title is Winds of Change. It's set 10 years after BD. Jacob, Nessie, Bella & Edward are all there. Enjoy!**


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